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TRUE
BE
TRUE TO
YOURSELF
20 Ways to
Boost Your
Confidence
1. Spend
some time
getting to
know yourself.
Use your
Advice for Me
report from
your
TRUE
Compatibility
Test to do
some thinking
about what
makes you
“you.” This
doesn't
necessarily
mean hours of
reflection
(although some
of that is
good as well).
You can also
learn a lot
more about who
you are by
getting out in
the world and
doing things.
Meet people,
take up
hobbies,
volunteer –
you'll
discover much
about the
world and
reinforce your
own sense of
self at the
same time. Get
involved in
your life!
2. Act.
When you're
feeling
insecure or
doubting your
abilities,
don't hide
away. Take a
deep breath,
get out there,
and do the
very things
you're unsure
about ... even
if you have to
start small.
If, for
example, you
want to act in
a play, but
you're not
sure you can
do it, why not
sign up for a
very small
part? You'll
build your
confidence.
3. Conquer
fear: take
risks.
Sometimes life
requires a
small "leap of
faith." You'll
feel good that
you took some
risks, even if
they don't
always work
out as well as
you hope. At
least you can
say you tried!
4. Stand up
for yourself.
Low
self-esteem
often leads to
lack of
assertiveness;
and when we
don't voice
what we want
and need, we
end up feeling
worse about
who we are.
Build your
assertiveness
skills, and it
will get
easier in
time.
5. Set
personal
goals.
Decide where
you'd like to
go, and make a
reasonable,
yet
challenging,
plan to get
there. Set
deadlines and
a system of
rewards to
keep you
going. (A
goal, by the
way, doesn't
have to be a
huge life
decision, like
"become a
doctor". It
can be
anything you
want to have
in your life,
like "Make one
new friend" or
"Learn to make
jam.")
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6. Learn
from – but let
go of –
mistakes.
Absolutely
everyone, no
matter how
perfect they
may seem,
messes up from
time to time.
This is how we
learn – like
the process of
learning to
walk as
children. If
we don't
stumble, we
don't learn
how to keep
our balance.
Keep this in
mind as you
venture out
into the
world. Be
gentle with
yourself.
7. Do
things on your
own – don't
rely on others
to make you
feel good.
One potential
trap of a
shaky
self-esteem is
dependency on
others. The
real truth is,
if you feel a
void inside,
no one can
fill it but
you. While
healthy
relationships
are important
for happiness,
more important
is the
relationship
we have with
ourselves.
8. Don't
compare
yourself to
others.
You may look
at someone and
think they
have something
you don't, but
the fact is
they may be
looking at you
and thinking
the very same
thing. Someone
may be better
than you are
at tennis, for
example, but
you can tell a
much better
joke. Judge
yourself by
your own
standards, for
you are
unique!
9.
Associate with
people who
affirm who you
are.
Do you have
toxic
relationships
with people
who criticize
you or make
you feel
small? Take a
good look at
the people you
surround
yourself with
and how they
affect your
self-esteem.
10. Learn
to say "no."
You will be
surprised how
much simpler
it is than you
think. When
you really
can't or don't
want to do
something, say
so. (In, of
course, a
polite and
non-aggressive
manner.)
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11.
Practice
truthfulness.
Avoid white
lies. We often
fib because we
think we are
sparing
feelings or
making things
easier, but
dishonesty
only ends up
making us feel
bad about
ourselves.
Don't present
a false face.
12.
Practice
positive
affirmations .
Write down 5
or 10 things
you really
like about
yourself. And
next time a
negative
thought pops
into your
mind, replace
it with
something
positive.
13. Find
things you
enjoy.
Whether it's
sewing,
drawing,
swimming or
karate,
hobbies are a
big
self-esteem
booster. Even
if we are not
experts, doing
something for
the pleasure
and challenge
builds our
sense of who
we are.
14. Use
visualization
techniques.
If you're
anxious or
doubtful about
your ability
to do
something (ask
your boss for
a raise or
compete in a
marathon, for
example),
practice
visualizing
that moment in
detail.
Imagine
yourself
pulling it off
smoothly.
It'll lower
your fear and
boost your
confidence.
15. Enhance
your ability
to cope with
stress.
It's not so
easy to
believe in
yourself if
you're
stressed out.
Develop a
repertoire of
strategies for
calming your
spirit and
incorporate
them into your
life as much
as possible
(like reading
a good book,
talking to
friends,
riding a horse
or taking a
bubble bath).
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16. Shun
perfectionism.
Interestingly,
there is a
high
correlation
between
perfectionism
and low
self-esteem.
The more you
strive to be
perfect, the
more
frustrated you
become when
you realize
it's
impossible! Be
aware of any
perfectionist
tendencies you
have and keep
them in check.
17. Make a
list of your
accomplishments.
Include
anything that
made you feel
good about
yourself,
without
thinking about
whether it is
technically an
"accomplishment"
or not. (Your
ability to
relate to
children, your
chess talent,
the amazing
cookies you
make, the
great short
story you
wrote.) Refer
to it whenever
you need a
boost.
18. Live in
the moment.
The more time
you spend
dwelling on
the past or
worrying about
the future,
the more of
the present
you are
wasting. Life
is NOW, and
you should get
out there and
embrace it.
19. Do
things for
others.
It's easy to
get wrapped up
in your own
little world
and forget
that there are
people out
there who are
in need. Give
to others
(your time,
company,
whatever you
have to share)
and you'll
find yourself
feeling better
about
yourself.
20. Take
care of
yourself
physically.
Eat well, get
enough sleep,
kick nasty
habits and get
some exercise.
Treat your
body like it
deserves to be
treated!
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